Sorry guys, but this is a depressing post. Because I am depressed. So, if you don't want to get depressed, or if you will get offend STOP READING NOW! My life hasn't turned out the way I'd planed for, but I guess whose does, right!?! Usually, I love my birthday, but this year it was just a day to remind me I am another year older without what I really want. I am told over and over again that there is still time and that I am still young. But the older I get, the more I worry and the more depressed I become. And my living situation isn't helping me at all. We have no room, no privacy and someone who is trying to be our mother. I am normally a very positive person, however living with someone who is negative all the time, really gets to me and is adding very much to my depression. Yet when I talk about moving by the end of this summer I get grief from members of my family and I feel that it's because then they would have to help out more and they don't want to. In order for me to get out of this depression, I need to do what is best for me and not worry about what others think. How is getting our own home a bad thing?! We have put our life on hold and sacrificed a lot to move in here and take care of my Grandma. And I can't do it anymore! I'm sorry, but I just can't for my own sake. I want a good relationship with my Grandma, the way it use to be, but I can't have that living here. I didn't write this to offend anyone, but I did warn you. I don't want sympathy or advise, I just needed to vent and get my feelings out.
2 comments:
Okay, so I hope you won't take offense to a comment, but I feel compelled to remind you that you have been through A LOT recently, and I think it is completely normal for you to feel depressed. Also, I think if you ask the majority of people on Earth, they would say that their own "life plan" didn't work out exactly the way they had intended, but Heavenly Father knows us best, and He knows exactly what we need and when we need it. I am sure you know and believe that as well. I promise you that there are others out there who are wishing THEY had what YOU have...a loving husband, a job, a roof over their head, etc.
I agree with your friend, but it's really hard sometimes to see the forest for the trees, or in life, to see the blessings for the trials. You do have a lot to be thankful for and have been very blessed, especially this past year. If you hadn't moved in with Grandma, you wouldn't have been able to get your finances in shape as quickly as you have...now that's a blessing. No one is trying to belittle your situation, but snap out of it and enjoy the life and blessings that you do have. I wouldn't want you to look back and say, "shoot, I wish I handled that better." By the way, we all do that. The Lord answers our prayers in three ways... 1 - Yes. 2- not yet. 3 - "I have something better in mind". Please have faith and enjoy your moments, because you never know when they will be no more.
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