Thursday, May 26, 2011

Mixed Emotions

What a day yesterday. I had another ultrasound. (9 weeks) Baby number 1 is growing like a weed and has a strong, healthy heartbeat. Baby number 2 stopped growing and no longer has a heartbeat. Such mixed emotions. We have tried for so long to have a baby and then when we found out it was two we were so excited. And to lose one, is so hard. We have already been so attached and so happy. I saw my chiropractor later that day and had a really good conversation with him and he was very comforting. And my sister, Tricia, said that now our baby has a guardian angel. Which I will always let our baby know. Baby number one will be so spoiled and loved and we are still so happy that there is still one.

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Our Story Keeps Getting Better :)

I am feeling very overwhelmed. Today I am exactly 7 weeks, and we had our first ultrasound. The first thing Dr. Blauer says is: "There's 2, what did we do!?!" All I could say is "WHAT?!" and I started to cry. That's when Aaron walked in. (I think I scared him) I told him it was twins and he just beamed! 

Already they are so different from each other.

This is baby number 1. Looks like a little baby, and strong heartbeat!

This is baby number 2. Much smaller, and a smaller heartbeat, but a strong one!
I really couldn't be happier. I am still very much in shock and am aware that so much can still happen. But I have my amazing family and the gospel to get me though this. My dear cousin Jen told me this, "Heavenly Father knows what He is doing!!!! He keeps you wanting only to double gift you!"

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Our Story

So, if you haven't guessed yet by the ticker, we are pregnant! Due December 27th! (Best Christmas or Birthday present ever!!!!!) It's still really, really early but we thought Mother's Day would be the perfect day to tell everyone. It's has been a long 6 1/2 years. And I haven't been strong enough to tell our story until now.
Shortly after we were married we decided to not try, but not prevent it. After a year, we started seeing different doctors. Nothing was found, Aaron checked out and I seemed to check out. We didn't have a lot of money, so we couldn't really see a specialist. But last year Aaron's works insurance started to cover fertility treatments, so as soon as we found out I found a specialist. Dr. Blauer with Reproductive Care Center. My nurse there is Liezle who started working there in December. She is the biggest blessing I have there. She is so amazing and outstanding in her job. And when I go see her, I am her number one priority. I love calling her number and have her answer. I have been so impressed with her and wouldn't have made it though without her. We started treatments last August. It started with a bunch of pills. In February/March, we stepped things up and started the IUI process. I had to give myself shots and take a lot more pills. Then Aaron would go in, and I would go in 2 hours later and they would use a catheter....well you can figure out the rest. :) The first one didn't work, and it was really hard. We had told family and close friends of the process, and it was so hard to tell them it didn't work. So we did it again on April 6th. Two weeks after I was suppose to take a pregnancy test, but I didn't want to, I was too nervous. But Aaron really wanted me to, so I did for him, because he is apart of this too. When I saw the positive I almost threw up! 

I went from feeling nervous to being super excited. I called Aaron to tell him, and could only cry. I have never been so overwhelmed with emotion before. We have been so disappointed so many times before, I had a hard time believing it. So I called the doctors office, and we scheduled a blood test. I stopped by after my half day of work. On the way home, I talked myself out of it. I figured there was a mistake and that they would call and tell me it was negative. My nurse called, Liezle, and told me my levels were 150. I asked her what that meant. She laughed and said anything over 100 is a positive! We waited about a week before we told our parents and my siblings, since they were all so involved and kept asking us. But we had to tell others because we can't keep our excitement in! We know that the first 3 months are the hardest and higher chances of miscarriage, but I also have seen that there isn't a safe date. Aaron and I are so excited and can't for this new chapter in our lives! Aaron is convinced it's twins or more because of the IUI and all the fertility drugs. He also thinks it's a boy/boys because of the Sperry curse. (Every baby conceived in Utah was a boy!) I don't know how I feel. I just want a healthy baby, and really can't feel if it's one or more, or a boy or a girl. I sometimes wonder if something is wrong since I haven't had any dreams about it, and I have heard so many stories about woman knowing they are pregnant before because they had a dream. I know that is silly, but I already have pregnant brain!!!
I also want to take this time to apologize. I had a hard time saying congratulations to anyone who got pregnant or had a baby. I wouldn't go to baby showers or blessings because it was too hard for me. I am sorry I wasn't there, and not strong enough to support you. So I want to send out a huge congratulations to everyone in the past 6 1/2 years who had a baby! :)


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