Turning 30!

This is the birthday I've been waiting for!! My mom told me a long time ago that her 30's were her favorite years. She felt like an adult finally but still felt young physically. Ever since then, I couldn't wait to be 30! Now, I will say that so far, I haven't felt much different. (But it's only been 17 days) And for the first time ever, I'm ok with that. (I usually expect to feel older on my birthday and I'm always disappointed when I don't.) When I look back on my life, I realize, that it keeps getting better and that I have been incredibly blessed (even when I didn't deserve it). I still have trials and bumps in my path, but I honestly feel like I have started learning from them and stopped being distracted by them. I did a little break down for each decade in my life on Facebook "1-10...learned to walk and talk, had a brother, Bryant, lived in 3 states (Utah, Massachusetts, New Jersey) started school, had another brother, Andrew 10-20...had a sister, Tricia, moved across country, survived Jr. High and High School, learned to drive, dated. 20-30.... got engaged and married to the love of my life, got over my biggest fear, moved (A LOT), owned 2 homes, had 5 dogs, visited state #40 (only 10 more to go!), struggled with depression and anger do to fertility problems, had 2 beautiful children! It's safe to say my life keeps getting better and that I can do anything with faith, family and friends!! Bring on the 30s!!!"  

I could expend on each one....add more details, talk about bad times, or all the unsaid blessings or the friends that I've meet along the way that mean the most to me. However, I realize that living in the past isn't the way to start my next 30 years. So here are just some of my goals/plans/ideas that I have before I'm 60! (Glup! That seems so far away, but yet here I am...half way there and those flew by and the older I get the faster time goes!!!!)

-3 more babies! (If the Lord trusts me with more!)

-Start a daycare

-Own a few homes as rentals

-Maybe go back to school...for what...it's a secret for now

-To pay a full tithing

-To become closer to my Father in Heaven

-To visit the 10 states I haven't been to yet

-To visit NJ at least 1 more time

-To go to Nova Scotia...hopefully a few more times

-To become a foster parent and help others in need

-Serve more

-To enjoy my family and friends as much as possible! 

-Catch up on sleep!!! (HAHAHAHA!!!)

Ok, so the last one is more of a joke, and won't be disappointed if I don't reach.

I know a lot can happen in 30 years, so I plan on being realistic with my goals. But I also hope that I picked goals that are too unreasonable. And 30 years is a lot of time to fill!!! I may edit this post as time goes on...maybe every year around my birthday. 

I am so excited for what my future holds...ups and downs. I have the best team with me. I have amazing parents, who taught me well and are still here for me no matter how old I am. I have the best siblings in the world who I can count on to help me out in anyway I need! I have surround myself with the best friends a girl could have! Each one is different and are there for me in different ways. Some I have had for 20 years and others are newer, but each are very important to me and to each I am extremely loyal! 

I was blessed to meet Aaron and become his wife. He is perfect for me. He puts up with my quirks and carries me when I'm low. He is my shoulder to cry on and makes me laugh everyday! He is a wonderful husband and father!! He is Sam's super hero and Vanessa only has eyes for her Daddy! He provides for us and will do anything for us. This man has saved me time and time again, and I wouldn't want to be going through life without him by my side!!!! I have two beautiful children who have brought heaven into our lives! They make me want to be better and do better. They make me smile, cry and laugh everyday! Not a day goes by that I can't believe they are mine! 

I feel so blessed and can't wait for the next 30!!! :)

Time

Time...where does it go!?!?! I've been doing a lot of thinking and planning lately. (I have A LOT to do soon!) I'm not complaining, but I'm tired of being pregnant, I have been pregnant for almost 2 full years and I have to carry a 25lb. 10 month old around!! And as much as I love feeling my little one move, I can't wait to hold her and get on with real life. Again, I'm not complaining, and I wouldn't trade my life for anything. My dreams are coming true! But being pregnant is taxing on the body. But, as much as I want her early, I still have so much to do. (As I sit here and blog putting off everything I have to do!) I was looking at the calendar and realized that we only have 3 1/2 weeks till her arrival...unless she other plans. We still have to get her room together...hardwood floors, a fence and still need a dresser. I'm not super worried if her room isn't ready in time because she'll be in our room for about 3 months anyway, but her soon to be room is a MESS right now. I would at least like it empty before she's here. And then there's the world's cutest 10 month old who will be one, 2 days before Christmas...and I am throwing a party for him! (You're only 1 once!) Oh, and then a little holiday called Christmas. I sit here and think, where does the time go. My baby boy is going to be one and my baby girl will be in my arms before I know it. But even with all the stress and worry, I really couldn't be happier! I lay down every night with the biggest smile on my face!!! 

10 Of My Favorite Things

So my brother wrote a blog about 10 of his favorite things that aren't people. I loved the idea and had to write one myself. At first I thought it would be easy. But as I started thinking of what makes me happy that aren't people I wasn't sure what really makes me happy. That was at first...once I started writing I was more worried about only having 10! I am the type of person that once I fall in love with something, I become very passionate about it!

10 - Smartfood Popcorn

I just LOVE Smartfood Popcorn! When Aaron brings me home a bag I get so excited! The only problem is I can't stop eating it when I open a new bag! (So, I've asked Aaron to get smaller bags) My favorite part is licking my fingers when I'm all done!

9 - The Eagles (ROAD TRIPS!)

Now I love music! But The Eagles aren't even in my top 10 favorite singers. (I know what you're thinking!) The Eagles make me so happy! Every time I hear one of their songs I get so excited! I enjoy them so much because of the feeling I have when I hear them. They make me think of road trips! I love seeing different parts of the country. I only need 10 more states to see all 50!

8 - Pens

I have worked hard on my handwriting. Ever since I was a little girl, I wanted my handwriting to look like my moms. It doesn't look like hers (although I can forge her name!). I love my handwriting and I only write with pens. I love all types of pens. My favorite though is Pentel R.S.V.P. which I have a hard time finding.

7 - Stars

Stars reminds me that there is more to life then the time on this earth. This summer while camping I was able to watch a meteor shower. I was in awe! I am always amazed with the fact that most stars are burned out by the time we can see them. Stars are fascinating!

6 - Pictures

When talking about what I would save in a fire, the first thing I say is my photos albums. (That might be because I don't have kids) Looking at picture make me think of all the good times. (That might be because I don't take pictures of the bad times, but who wants to remember those anyway!) I love reminiscing and sharing memories.

5 - Thunderstorms

Oh how I miss New Jersey thunderstorms! I get so excited when it starts getting cloudy and raining. But then I remember I'm in Utah and it will be over in 15 minutes or less. But that aside, I love the smell, sounds and feelings of thunderstorms. They remind me of growing up and having to eat all the ice cream so it wouldn't melt in a power-outage.

4 - Thursdays

Thursdays have always been my favorite day of the week! Well, the more I think about it the more I realize I have a love/hate relationship with Thursdays. (At least right now because Thursdays are the hardest with my Grandparents.) But what I love about Thursdays is how close it is to the weekends, TV, and payday!

3 - Crafting

DUH! I wasn't going to put this here because of how plainly obvious it is! I just love crafting, making something with my hands. (Even though they give out on me sometimes.) I also love learning new crafts. I love knitting, scrapbooking, painting (now two kinds), making cards, and making jewelry (new!). I am always thinking of new things to make or looking at things to remodel!

2 - TV

Hi, my name is Charlene and I'm a TV-aholic! I know that some of you might judge me because I watch so much TV, but I don't care. I love TV! Here are some of my favorites. GLEE, M*A*S*H, ER, Vampire Diaries, The Office, and The Simpsons.

1 - My Dogs

It took me 21 years to get over my fear of dogs, and nothing makes me happier! I love when I make a funny noise and my dog tilts his head to the side. I think they make me so happy because dogs in general are so happy! I love going to Pet Smart and parks meeting other dogs. I have truly become passionate about dogs. I love learning about new breeds and learning about how to protect dogs from over breeding and puppy mills. I love dogs!


(I think my brother did a better job with his blog...I mentioned people!)

My New Blog

I created a new blog to journal our experiences while taking care of my grandparents. Check it out :)

http://www.grandparents101.blogspot.com/

Grandpa Charlie Brown

I have been very blessed in my life. I am 26 years old, and still have all 4 grandparents. I have always been close to them. (Even though we haven't always lived close.) I love my family and grateful to have such wonderful, loving grandparents. Both sets have been married over 50 years and have taught me great lessons for my own marriage.

My Grandpa Brown has been sick for a while now. Last week we had to take him to the hospital and we are going to have to find somewhere for him to live. And as hard as it has been for me...a spoiled granddaughter, I can't even being to imagine how my Grandma feels. Her whole life has been about taking care of her family. Her husband and 4 kids. Now she is alone. I go over everyday and make sure she is ok, but most of the time she is wanting to take care of me.  She is a much stronger woman that I thought she was. I see her everyday talk to my Grandpa, and even when we can't understand him, she is clam and loving with him.

I am so proud of my family for coming together and helping one another. I love everyone so much. What's meant to be will be, we just all need to remember that we are family and we will all be together forever.

Me and Grandpa at my 25th birthday! I love that smile!

Friends

Warning....Long Blog!!!

For some reason friends have been on my mind lately. I am not the type of person to have a lot of friends. For me it's about quality not quantity. In my life I have had a lot of friends, but have only stayed close with and call a handful to be my "best friend". Now every person I have called friend has meant something to me. (I don't use the word lightly.) But a friends come into your life for a reason, and that reason may be for a long period of time or a short period of time. I want to take some time to highlight and thank my closest friends. (They are in order of when we met.)

Cherilyn

Cherilyn and I met in Mrs. Wilson 2nd grade class in 1991. I was the new girl and very nervous. I don't remember a lot from so long ago, but I do remember Cherilyn. How could you not....everyone who meets her remembers her! Cherilyn and I became friends fast! We did projects together, confused teachers with our names and talked about boys. The hardest part about leaving New Jersey was leaving Cher. I have hundreds of stories I could tell you about Cher and I!!! Cherilyn was the only one of my friends to make the trip out to Utah and visit me, and I surprised her in New Jersey. We try so hard to stay in touch, but life happens. We still talk as much as we can and I look forward to the calls, no matter how short. (And I always talk like her for a couple days after we talk!)

Dianna

I met Dianna in Ledgewood 1st Ward in 1991. She is about a year younger than me, but we were fast friends. The worst sunburn I have ever had, I got from going to the beach with Dianna and her family! But I got to spend the whole week at her house because her Mom felt so bad and didn't want my Mom to know! After moving to Utah, when Dianna graduate she came out here to school at BYU and we picked our friendship right where we left off. Dianna was the Maid of Honor at my wedding and a year later got married on my anniversary! The following year we met up with Dianna and her husband, Dave, in Oahu, Hawaii! (We didn't plan it, we just both happened to plan Hawaii trips for our anniversaries, so we had to meet up!) They are our IHOP buddies! Dianna and Dave came out from Texas and supported us for our sealing.

Diana

Yes, another Diana. We met in 9th grade science class! (About 1998) I again was the "new kid" We weren't fast "best" friends, that didn't happen until I moved in the 18th Ward in West Valley. She lived right down the street! Diana and I have been thought a lot together. Boyfriends, heart-ache, and much more. Diana is the one who introduced me to Vanessa Carlton. Diana and I go see every Sandra Bullock movie together as close to the opening date as possible. A lot of what Diana and I have been though, I don't want to blog about. We have been though so much personal stuff together and has made us such strong friends because of it. I couldn't image life without her!

Jake

Oh Jake! Most of you know that Jake and I have been best friends since the day we met! Which in and of it's self is a hilarious story! Bryant and I were new to the 18th Ward and didn't really know anyone. We had Youth Conference and when Bryant and I got home Mom and Dad were gone. It was a new house to us and didn't yet have keys, so we started looking for ways to break in. We were on the side of the house when Jake rode by on his bike. He helped us break in. Dad was so mad because we didn't know this kid. Who would have thought that we would be best friends and he would just walk into our house when ever! Jake and I were inseparable all thought high school, where were one was so was the other! I was the one who made Jake sluff for the first time, and every time we sluffed we'd watch Shrek. Jake and I always talked about growing old together and needed hip replacements and oxygen takes, but there was never more than friendship. Because he was a boy, his friendship was very different then my other "best friends", but in a good way. Jake was always there when I needed him and never asked "why". He always has a laugh for me and knows how to make me smile.

Tanya
Tanya and I meet at Marriott some time in 2007. We didn't become fast friends, but she sure tried. (I was mad that our manager made her sit in the desk next to me because it was my friend PJ's who was on leave of absents) It became her permanent desk and our friendship took off! I have traveled with Tanya more than another friend....which is kind of sad because it was twice! Once to California and then to DC. Tanya and I have so much in common, the joke we have is "Which one's Tanya, which one's Charlene!?!? I don't know!?!?!"


I cherish all of my friends and couldn't imagine my life without them. Now, no friendship is perfect, I have had hard times with each of these friends, but when all is said and done we only become stronger. I wrote about these 5 because, like I said some friends come and go, but some stay with you for ever. I hope and pray that these amazing people will always be my "best friends". I hope that they know that I am always here for them. I also hope for the list t grow and I have more "best friends" come into my life. :)

To Blog or Not To Blog?!

I try so hard to keep my blog happy and positive. I am usually a very positive person. But lately my mind has been weighed down. Like anyone else, I have good days and bad days. But unlike everyone, my ups and downs are very different. Not much gets me down. But when I am down...it's hard to get back up. What gets me down? Well, some of you know. Aaron and I have been trying to have a baby for almost 5 years. It is very trying and it is getting harder for me to deal with. I can't go to baby showers, or blessings. I am not in anyway apologizing, because I am not sorry. Most of the time I am not pressured about it, thanks to my close friends and MY family. But father's day was a hard day. Everything was fine until we went to Aaron's parents house. That is the only place where we are pressured. If it's not a sister in law pregnant, it's a "funny" comment from a brother in law. Since New Years, I leave their house in tears. We are the only ones without children...we know. I was asking my mom why that doesn't happen when we are at grandma's and she reminded me of my aunt and uncle who had the same struggle, so everyone knows better. I have been so worried since I joined Aaron's family that I would hurt someones feeling, and in doing so I let my feelings get hurt all the time. I don't say anything and then take it out on Aaron when we get home...not anymore. He is the only one I should worry about. I know that I have sister in laws that read this, yet I am not worried. I deserve my thought and my feelings to be heard. I can't take it anymore. I this hard enough for me without the "funny" remarks and the "someday".

I am not looking for someone to talk to....I just want to get my feelings out. I hear people complain about their kids, I see on the news that another baby died because they weren't wanted and I die a little more inside....give the baby to me! I take care of it!

I want to thank the people in my life that I can turn to when I am down. Mom! I couldn't get though anything without you! You are a light in my life! Thank you so much for always being there. I want to be a mom just like you! Tanya! You know all too well what I am going though. You always make my day. You bring so much joy and laughter in my life. Diana! You know what I am going though as well. You are so smart and I am grateful for all your advise and homework! I am so grateful that we are friends again. (Everything happens for a reason!) Thanks for not throwing Colton in my face. (I know what I want to say but can't find the words...I think you understand) Cherilyn! (Who doesn't read this but I have to thank!) I wish that we lived closer. You always put my head back on straight! Thanks Cher! And of course the love of my life Aaron, who holds me when I cry. And lets me know that our time will come.

Lately I have been wondering if I should be blogging. Who do I do it for? Not many people read my blog. I have nothing exciting to blog about. I don't have kids. I have nothing to offer anyone else.

I blog for me. I love blogging. I have never been good at keeping a journal, (except for the friendship journal Jami gave me in high school!) This is my way of writing a journal!

I am sorry that this blog wasn't all happy and positive. I am sorry there are no pictures. But I needed to write this blog for me!